


a long way to home

by the_13th_battalion



Series: Zygerria/Kadavo Chronicles [6]
Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Anakin Skywalker Needs a Hug, Angst, Character Study, Gen, I promise I love him, I'm just mean to him, Kinda, Past Abuse, Past Slavery, References to Depression, Reflection, Slavery, Suicidal Thoughts, Zygerria Arc (Star Wars: Clone Wars), he do be kinda depressed, it's really fast but it's there, more like an intrusive thought, poor boy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 16:14:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29298732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_13th_battalion/pseuds/the_13th_battalion
Summary: Anakin sits at a window in the palace and contemplates what home means to him.
Series: Zygerria/Kadavo Chronicles [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2127948
Comments: 12
Kudos: 46
Collections: febuwhump 2021





	a long way to home

**Author's Note:**

> Me??? Actually managing to get a fic out there??? whaaaaaat??
> 
> Haha I'm ALIVE and I'm here with day 6, "insomnia"! I imagine this like a nightly routine for Anakin. He doesn't ever really sleep, so instead, he goes and sits at the window. I wrote this like a train of late night thought, the kind you get when you're super exhausted but sleep eludes you. I also used the song Don't Follow by Shelby Merry as inspiration! This fic kinda reflects the song, in a way. Enjoy!!

The moment the door latched, Anakin pushed the blanket off and got to his feet.

His ribs ached and his knees protested as he hauled himself up on the windowsill. He let his legs dangle out the window, his toes pointed toward the ground. He sighed and rested his head against the frame.

He stared at the moon. _Funny how the moon looks the same here as it did on Tatooine._

A new ache sprouted in his chest. He pulled one knee up to his chest and loosely wrapped his arms around his leg. His chin thumped onto his knee. _So we're thinking about that tonight...great._

Memories rose to the front of his mind. Anakin grimaced and fought them back. _No. I don't want to see her._

But no matter how much he struggled, he saw his mother's face as clearly as if he had only just looked at her. He swallowed a lump in his throat and rubbed his burning eyes. _Stop. Just give me a break._

A bird soared past him. He watched as it flew to a nearby roof and nestled in its eaves. He envied its freedom. _I wish I were a bird._

The wind carried a scream from somewhere in the distance. He didn't shift his gaze away from the spot the bird had disappeared, but his blood froze all the same. _Just like home. All this place needs is another sun._

_Home..._

His brow furrowed. He had forgotten. Home didn't mean Tatooine. The only ties he had to the planet were severed when his mother died. Now he carried her with him wherever he went. That home resided within his own heart.

Home meant something else now.

Home meant Obi-Wan and Ahsoka, laughing until they sprawled breathless on the floor. Home meant dinner in the mess on the _Resolute_ , packed on a bench holding too many men. Home smelled like tea, the dirt in Obi-Wan's plants, and Padmè's perfume. Home felt like Ahsoka's arms around his waist and Rex's hand squeezing his forearm. Home sounded like Obi-Wan singing when he thought no one could hear, like Ahsoka blowing bubbles through her straw, like Padmè's laughter.

The wind blew with more strength. His limbs quaked. He rubbed his arms as the light chill cut through the thinning fabric of his shirt. He looked to the sky and longed for the warmth of the sun.

_Obi-Wan's like a sun._

The thought hit him like a blaster bolt to the chest. His heart cried out for Obi-Wan's presence, like a lost child cries for his guardian. He tried to recall his face. The only memory he could conjure with clarity was the last time they had seen each other; Obi-Wan's tired smile underneath the dust and bruises, confident that his former padawan had a plan.

_And then I screwed it all up._

A bitter taste filled his mouth. His gaze drifted to the ground. He rubbed the spot on his ribcage where his detonator chip used to be. He winced as the pressure aggravated his bruises.

The wind tousled his hair and stung his cheeks. Anakin shivered. He continued to stare at the stone far below his feet.

_It probably wouldn't hurt too bad to fall._

_No! Don't follow that shadow, Anakin._

Anakin blinked. That had sounded like Obi-Wan.

He shook his head. He sat up straight, dropped his knee away from his chest, clenched his hands into fists. He turned his head to the sky.

"You're right," he said out loud, "I need to go home."

_I still have a long way to home, but I'll get there. I'll get home._


End file.
